happy day

hari ni aku happy semacam je. tak tau ah nape. for the past few weeks i've been down. but this week i feel alive. kisah lama dulu..8 tahun lepas masa aku kat itm lagi. first love...takkan dapat dilupakan sampai skang.. walaupun dah 4, 5 tahun berpisah tapi masih ingat lagi. maybe some say i fogot all about them. but it's not true. still fresh in my mind. every detail..it's just that sometimes it hurts so i pretend that i forgot all about it. a lot happened then. very painful thing that i wished i never would have done. but still..i happened and i just have to bear with it. and i thought that i would make the same mistakes again..but still i did it. i just never learned my lessons. but well..it's fun. all the crying..the heartbreaking..it just makes u feel like a normal human being. i love it. maybe it sounds like crazy but i love it. the first person that has teach me about love..so madly in love at that time. nothing else matter at that time. well..now it's just me. me alone..maybe it's for the best. i'd have been cursed. to live alone by myself never to have happiness. well it's not true. i still have my friends. ok lah.. but sometimes i feel lonely. i need someone to love me and i need to love someone. but i just can't find the right one. ermmm..sambung ah pas ni..ok.